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One Nation Under Gun

As we well know, Americans love cars. As we also know, many Americans traditionally love guns and find every possible legal justification to bear them freely and in unregulated manner. After all, it’s explicitly written in a paper this country treats as sacred.

2027. A new law just passed, thanks to the newly elected politicians and their advisory group, the NCRA – National Car and Rifle Association (formerly without the “car” word).

Every motor vehicle sold in America must be equipped with at least two guns – one on the front and one on the back. The guns would automatically fire if another car suddenly bumps from the rear, left or right side, or even front. The guns should point themselves to the other car’s driver as precise as possible, as fast as possible. Casualties from wrongly pointed guns are the subject of ongoing debate to repeal the law, but the percentage is negligible to be taken seriously. Misfirings are nearly improbable. The guns are totally safe otherwise.

School busses carrying every day the most precious, the kids, are mandated to be equipped with not two but 8 such guns – with 2 on the front, 2 on the back and 2 more on each side. The sensitivity of the firing mechanism must be at least double compared to the ones used in regular a commercial vehicle. Kids are our future. We protect like no one else.

It’s recommended for drivers not to get closer than 50 feet to a school bus on the road. Children must undergo special training how to approach the bus, safely get on and off. Every school bus should be equipped with emergency medical kit in case of accidents.

Police cars are equipped with larger automatic guns, capable of making up to 12 rounds at one time, protecting the officers and those they protect, from up to 12 simultaneously bumping cars. Officers must undergo extensive training to ensure the adequate use of this heavy equipment.

After all, cars don’t bump into cars. People do. To deter such a bad behaviour, The best way to approach this is to equip every car, truck and bus with the protection means. Lightminded drivers now will think twice before causing any damage to the white shiny bumper of the car on the front, left, right and even the rear. As a result, insurance cost will go down. We say “NO” to reckless driving!

The law also mandates that no record of the car-gun mechanisms shall be kept, and no background checks of the drivers-owners performed. To make it legal and absolutely irreversible, the 28 Amendment to the Constitution is approved by overwhelming majority of citizens and enacted.

God Bless America – One Nation Under Gun!