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The Law of Thinking

Personal opinion is a luxury that nobody can afford today.
(Ayn Rand, “Atlas Shrugged”)

In extraordinary times like these, we cannot allow ourselves the leisure of uncivilized random thinking. For public safety the following Executive Order goes into effect immediately:

Certain thoughts are declared illegal at the federal level and considered a threason with harsh punishment. The full list of illegal thoughts will be published on popular social networks, government websites, broadcast on Fox News, CNN and other outlets, printed in major newspapers and magazines. Following our great tradition of freedom of speech, and despite many speculations, the President will not impose the “whitelist” of allowed thoughts, but will only limit those damaging our country.

If an illegal thought occurs in your mind, it’s your legal responsibility and civic duty to forget about it in the next 60 minutes. Under no circumstances such thoughts shall be shared with others, for their safety and the safety of those around. If an illegal thought is not forgotten within 60 minutes, it’s one’s legal responsibility to report to the authorities. Not reporting will result in criminal punishment.

Thought management centers will be established in all major cities, with free access and transportation to and from for all citizens regardless of gender, age, race or income. Suspected of wrong thinking will be temporarily isolated until clean of illegal thoughts. Reporting on one’s own thoughts voluntarily would be considered as a factor for shorter isolation. Second offenders will be isolated for longer times, and treated with necessary medications. Third time offenders will be imprisoned for life as in our popular sport phrase “three strikes and you are out”.

To avoid such harsh measures, the thinking reconditioning camps are to be established across the country. Education programs of universities, colleges and K-12 schools must be adjusted accordingly to include the mandatory Proper Thinking classes. The students failing to pass the tests are subject to reconditioning within the same year, and so are their immediate family members.

It’s also a legal duty and civic responsibility to report on illegal thoughts once someone is suspected of them. The reporting is completely anonymous. Toll-free phone lines and online resources shall be provided by the National Security Agency. Not reporting an illegal thought is considered a worse crime than the thought itself, and will be punished accordingly.

At the same time, right thoughts would be awarded depending on frequency, depth and thought itself. The full list of right thoughts will also be available through major news channels. Rewards include job promotions, monetary compensation, raising in ranks (for police and military). Local governments and businesses can make their own additional ways to reward right thinkers.

With the right thinking we will make America great. We will! Again. God bless America!